and you said cock pushups were impossible
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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