Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
