I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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