Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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