K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
