but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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