I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
