i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
