I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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