You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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