me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
