dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
