i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
