tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
