He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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