Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
