My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
