oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I supernannyed him into submission
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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