I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
