i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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