They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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