i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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