And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
