Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
