She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
