HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
