trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
