If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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