Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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