I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
