Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
