That's intense
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
