so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
