dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
