is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
