he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
