The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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