He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
