Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
As shirtless as possible
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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