is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
