she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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