Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
