The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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