NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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