I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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