And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
