You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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