He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
