Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
