God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
