I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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